Giant Gorilla © Andy Sloan

Giant gorilla
Filled with air
Fifty feet tall
On the dealer’s lot
It made me buy
A car I don’t need at all

And all in all it’s just as well
One more story I can tell
And all in all it’s just as well
I hope to see them in hell

Smiling salesman
Shook my hand
Shiny teeth, shiny hair
He called me by name
Treats everyone the same
Makes them think he cares

Damn the successful salesman
Damn him and his commission
Damn his lowest prices guaranteed
Selling me things I don’t need
Just because he’s got a family to feed

Customer service
Led me to believe
They would help me soon
I’m still sitting here
Muzak in my ear
I’ve been waiting all afternoon

My call is very important
It might even be recorded
For training and security
But when is anybody gonna help me? (x 4)

Giant gorilla
Did its job
Saved the dealer from devastation
It’s time to deflate
Then back to the shed to wait
The dealer’s next sale-a-bration